Quantum of the Seas Cruise Ship Review
The Walking Critic | 9-day Cruise | Brisbane to Vanuatu & return | April 2023
I have to tell this story, because it is funny.
My late mother was known to be an upstanding member of the aristocracy, being the daughter of an Earl who also happed to own large chucks of both London, England and Scotland. I won’t delve into that part too much, but suffice it to say, she had a wicked sense of humour.
This forthcoming snippet is a wonderful backdrop to what I’m about to say.
One day I called my mother at home and asked her, with usual inquisitive flair, “What are you doing?”
I could hear the television crackling on high volume in the background.
“I’m watching Real Housewives of Miami,” she punched back.
“Oh my god,” I said incredulously.
“Why?”
“It is so ghastly that I have to watch it!”
That personal story has so much resonance for me today, because it is the exact reason why I chose to step out of my comfort zone and book a 9-day cruise on the Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas. I had spent my whole life promoting and marketing charter boats and small expedition vessels in the Kimberley. This was my first foray into what us Brits would call “ginormous” and what I wrongly thought would be the pointy end of vulgar.
I wanted to experience what others had done before me (clearly in droves). To be thrust into a big vat of the “great unwashed”, as they sucked and gobbled and imbibed on everything that would fit in their mouths, from bow to stern. At least that was my preconceived vision of big ship gluttony and human vacuum cleaners.
In the same way that my mother was drawn like a moth to a flame, I had been dying to experience the ghastly. To pretend that is was just so awful, when in fact I loved every single morsel of it.
The ultimately reality was not an abhorrence, even to my mother, but it was a completely different experience, that was both fun and rewarding. The culmination of desire and need. A circumstance that I grabbed, when it presented itself. That’s because I was on route to becoming a Cruise Ambassador for the Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA). Such an elevation requires mandatory time at sea on cruise ships and I need more hours on board. By Booking the Quantum of the Seas I was killing two birds with one stone.
And ultimately with zero regrets!
I won’t bore you with the nitty gritty details of Brissy, but I really advocate everyone takes the time to explore Brisbane and its surrounds, before heading out on the ocean waves. There truly is so much to see and do, which in my case, took me south to the Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise and Byron Bay. The Queensland lifestyle is an experience to be savoured and should be a part of your cruise holiday. We can talk about this another day.
When D-Day eventually arrived, I was excited. I was ready. My pre-cruise packing had been nutted out the night before. I just wanted to sail. But I was a little bit disappointed and demeaned by having to print out my own luggage tags on A4 paper, that I then had to staple around my luggage handles. There was nothing very glamorous or successful about my DIY origami. But who cares. It saved the Royal Caribbean shareholders money. I felt happy that they were happy!
I called a taxi with ample time to spare. The journey from the Rydges South Bank hotel, to the new Brisbane International Cruise Terminal (BICT) was less that 35 minutes. My driver arrived on time and was impeccably dressed, with an almost Afro-Caribbean 1950s look, despite having fled war-torn Somali many years ago. He had been driving in Brisbane for over 10 years. As we passed through Victoria Park, Windsor and Kalinga, I marvelled at some of the older historical buildings, wondering what secrets they might have held, from bygone years. A couple of times I asked him, “What is that building over there,” to which he invariably replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t know.”
I felt sorry for him. Ten years passing sites of historical importance and beauty and you don’t know? Would you not want to learn about the places you pass through, or the city you live in? If for no any other reason, than to make people smile? After all, you are somewhat of a Brisbane ambassador yourself. Have pride in you job.
I guess I understood. History for him was a tarnished blur. What really mattered to him was his next fare. His next pay cheques. Nothing more, nothing less.
As we skirted around the righthand side of Brisbane Airport towards Myrtletown, Brisbane dissipated from an urban setting to a semi-rural and industrial landscape. The road and verges were dishevelled and unkempt. Not a great advert for a brand new port.
To the left, I noticed small, single-storey wooden houses raised on stilts or brick plinths. “Are we on a flood plain?”, I pondered to myself. “Were these once the home of fishermen?” They had the feel of quaint suburban gardens, cut off from the sprawl of industrialisation.
And then, like magic, voila! The Brisbane International Cruise Terminal unravelled before me. Berthed beside it is the towering Quantum of the Seas, a mighty beast capable of sleeping over 4,905 passengers.
My first impression of the Brisbane International Cruise Terminal was disappointing having scrawled and meandered through the city and its outskirts. It felt like I was arriving at the end of a beat-up industrial side shoot, not a main city feature. Far be it for me to question politics and tourism, but hello Brisbane! This is a major revenue maker. Would Disney lead you through dishevelled, pot-marked roads before arriving at the ultimate goal? Even if did look a bit like a B-grade airport hangar?
I don’t think so.
For me, the terminal was great, but it was rather anticlimactic, an unimpressive modern façade at the end of an uninspiring route. I felt like a chicken riding a conveyor belt, hearing the shrill call, “Hurry up and mind the blades.”
The poor chicken would have had no time to go, “And this is it?” before being thwacked.
As with most ports, there are no luggage trolleys, which means you have no alternative but to waddle quite a distance between the taxi and the bag drop off point. This is annoying, even for someone like me that is relatively fit. It required a burst of relay runs from curb to building, before my task was complete.
Next was the baggage tag situation. I had printed out my tags before departure and now I had to find someone with a stapler, so I could affix them to the bags. This was actually quite easy, thanks to a dedicated group of port staff helping everyone else with the same problem.
With military precision, you are nudged and sucked into the system, even with really bad, stapled origami tags. Baggage handlers gesticulated and motioned you on. They were like tree loppers feeding suitcases into a vortex. You just had to accept the outcome: your bags would eventually be in your room…sometime.
Having dispensed with the heavy uploading, I started to relax as we climbed the escalator to the first floor. As with any international travel, you know there are more formalities to go through…and big lines! But the whole process was seamless made better by some really lovely staff.
Your face photo is taken on an iPad. You declare you are not sick with COVID (in our instance showing photographic evidence of a self-administered negative test from an iPhone). Like lemmings, you join the rank and file of other passengers, as they clear customs and security. You barely have time to blink an eye, before you suddenly find yourself teleported onto the gangplank, about to board the ship. It is from here that you get your first close-up glimpse of the Quantum of the Seas and how genuinely enormous she is.
And it is also from these bottlenecked confines that you are commercially assaulted for the first time.
If you were in the military, being trapped on a gangway is not a good position to be. You are exposed to attack from everywhere with to place to run, backwards, forwards or sideways. With calculated precision, the first ambush on your wallet begins from strategically placed teams of photographers, goading you into their web! A digital snap and memory…at a cost of course.
Make no bones about it. Everywhere you turn and go, RCI (Royal Caribbean International) wants your money! Photos, food, drinks, games. It is a well-oiled business model to extract everything from you, even before you step on board!
I had booked an Ocean Balcony cabin on the left hand (port) side of Deck 8 and I was not disappointed with it at all. The colours were unsurprisingly maritime in tone, with dark aqua blue fabrics on the couch and bed pelmet. The carpet was a sandy umber-brown wash with light streaks that looked like rake marks in the pattern.
A desk with mounted plug board on the wall was fantastic, especially since I was lugging my big iMac Desktop computer on this journey. With a lot of time at sea and a business to run, this was categorically my most valuable travelling companion. I paid premium for WIFI connectivity, as a result. To the side of the desk were even more drawers that I mostly used to house paperwork, receipts, cables and other nicknacks
The one thing that really struck me most was the storage space. I still reflect back on how great this was, with overhead cupboards above the couch and bed areas. You could not want for more. I loved being able to unpack my suitcase and have clothing in normal folded stacks.
The bathroom was a continuum of brown and neutral colours with plenty of overhead lighting. The shower had elliptical glass walls and door, making the room feel even more spacious. The sink was large and long. The floor had dark brown, subway tiles.
Three small square hanging shelves to the right of the mirror provided minimal space for toiletries, but at least it was something. A white bathmat, face cloth and towels were provided with the cabin.
Mystery Island: The Place Where Even Google Needs a Map
Welcome to Mystery Island, a destination so mysterious, even the locals have a hard time remembering where it is. Nestled in the South Pacific, this little slice of paradise on the Royal Caribbean Quantum of the Seas itinerary is as charming as it is delightfully unpredictable. Think of it as a tropical hideaway where the only thing more mysterious than its name is how the island manages to stay so stunningly beautiful while being so remote.
Let’s start with the beach. The sand here is softer than your aunt’s homemade cookies, and the water? It’s the color of your dreams, but somehow more vibrant than that. Picture this: you wade into the clear, warm waters and immediately feel like you’re in a postcard. Seriously, even your selfie will look better in this lighting. You can swim, snorkel, or just float aimlessly like you're auditioning for a beach commercial.
Now, if you're feeling adventurous (or a little daring), you can grab a kayak or try out some stand-up paddleboarding. If you're like me and have absolutely zero balance, just know that the ocean here is really forgiving. You’ll likely end up in the water at some point, but the good news is the ocean looks so nice you won't even care.
The best part about Mystery Island? There’s basically no Wi-Fi, which means you’ll have to make do with... human interaction! Gasp! You might actually have to talk to people instead of scrolling through Instagram. But don’t worry, there are plenty of friendly locals and crew members to help you navigate the island’s few quaint shops, food stands, and those irresistible coconut drinks.
So, if you're looking for a place that’s beautiful, chill, and possibly slightly mysterious (but in the good way), Mystery Island will leave you wondering why you ever wanted to leave the ship in the first place.
Vanuatu: Where the Journey to Shore Is Almost as Fun as the Destination
Vanuatu—a beautiful paradise in the Pacific, where the waters are crystal clear, the locals are friendly, and getting there... well, getting there is an adventure in itself.
When you dock in Vanuatu on the Royal Caribbean Quantum of the Seas, don't expect a simple stroll to the shore. Nope, you'll be hopping onto the lifeboat tenders, small boats that ferry you between the ship and the island. It's kind of like playing "Survivor," but with more life jackets and less sand. These tenders will bob you along the waves, and you’ll be holding on for dear life, all while wondering if you should've worn a waterproof cape for dramatic effect. But don’t worry, you’ll survive the ride and end up on solid ground… eventually.
Once you’re safely ashore (phew!), the real adventure begins. There are excursions galore, and one of the most memorable is a visit to Keamu Village. This charming village offers a peek into local life, where you can interact with the friendly villagers and even witness some traditional dances and cultural performances. It’s like stepping into a postcard, but with better food and way more smiles.
For those who want to get their heart racing, you can sign up for a zip line tour through the lush rainforest or take a boat ride to explore hidden caves and pristine beaches. Snorkeling in the crystal-clear waters will have you pretending you’re in a nature documentary, surrounded by colorful fish and tropical coral.
And yes, there’s also the volcano tour—because nothing says "vacation" quite like standing near the edge of an active volcano. Don’t worry, they’ll make sure you're well-prepared to see Mother Nature at her most dramatic, but with a little less molten lava.
But no matter what tour you choose, you’ll still have to face the lifeboat tender ride back to the ship. By now, you’ll be a pro, bobbing through the waves with the confidence of a seasoned adventurer.
So whether you're getting up close with the culture in Keamu Village or zooming through the jungle on a zip line, Vanuatu offers up an unforgettable adventure. And just think—without those tenders, you wouldn’t get to brag about your "thrilling" boat ride back to the ship!
Nouméa: Where Your Vacation Starts with a Shimmering Welcome (and a Tiny Bit of Confusion)
Arriving in Nouméa, the capital of New Caledonia, feels like stepping into a sun-drenched postcard with a side of “I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m here for it.” You’ll disembark from your cruise ship and be greeted with a warm, tropical breeze—perfect for those “I’m on vacation!” Instagram posts. But as you get closer to the shore, you may wonder: Where am I, and why is this so beautiful?
Nouméa is a French-infused paradise, which means you get the best of both worlds—crystal-clear waters and that European charm that makes you want to sip coffee like a local. You’ll find yourself strolling past chic cafés, colorful markets, and charming streets, all while pretending you know how to properly pronounce French words like "croissant" and "bonjour."
Once you're off the ship, there’s plenty to explore. You can check out Anse Vata Bay and soak in the sun, or if you're more of an adventurous type, hop on a snorkeling tour and feel like you’re living out a nature documentary (except with more sunscreen and fewer predators). Prefer land-based thrills? How about the Tjibaou Cultural Center for a little cultural immersion, where you'll learn about the island's indigenous Kanak people—while nodding thoughtfully and pretending you knew that was a thing.
The real gem of Nouméa, though? The duty-free shopping. Stock up on French perfumes, cosmetics, and local crafts, all while debating whether or not you need that extra bottle of wine (you do). After all, it’s vacation, right?
In short, Nouméa is the perfect combination of relaxing beach vibes, cultural exploration, and just the right amount of confusion. So embrace it, wander the streets, and take in the beauty—it’s one of those places where you don’t need to understand everything to enjoy it.
My last minute booking on the Quantum of the Seas precluded me from getting to try every dining venue, but I did get to sample the majority of them.
FREE FLOW - 10am to 6pm
Selected tea, coffee, soft drinks, ice cream, snacks, cookies and fruits
AFTERNOON SPECIAL - 3pm to 5pm
Afternoon snacks & finger food
COCKTAIL HOUR - 5pm to 6pm
Selected free-flow alcoholic drinks, including house wine, local sprits and cocktails.
This buffet is where calories come to dance. It's a never-ending parade of food, from pizza to sushi (yes, really), to satisfy your every whim. The food's decent, but the real entertainment is watching people pile food onto plates like they're trying to feed a family of 12. Expect great variety and even greater confusion on where to start. Pro tip: don't skip the desserts-your waistline might thank you later, but your inner sweet tooth definitely won't.
Izumi is the Japanese speciality restaurant onboard the Quantum of the Seas and indeed most Royal Caribbean ships, since it was first trialled on the Oasis of the Seas.
Izumi has a prominent location midship on Deck 5 in the heart of the Royal Esplanade. It is straddled by two other ship heroes like the Schooner Bar and Wonderland. But as far as restaurants go, it is not very secluded, quiet or intimate. You might as well be dining in the middle of a shopping centre, as the foot traffic was constant.
Despite making a dinner reservation, we were shunted to the furthest table possible. If we went any further back, we’d have fallen over the balcony into the lap of Sorrentos Café below!
The menu is very much all about sushi with prices varying between $8 for signature rolls and up to $16 for the Chef’s Signature Rolls.
Jamie Oliver's brainchild on the high seas. If you're looking for a cozy Italian meal without the risk of spilling sauce on your lap in public, this is your place. The pasta is fresh, the atmosphere is cheeky, and you'll definitely leave with more carbs than you've ever legally consumed. The best part? It's all so good, you'll forgive them for not having actual Italians working there.
Ah, Chops Grille. Where the steak is so good you'll wonder why you ever thought about becoming a vegetarian. It's classic American steakhouse vibes, but with a price tag that makes you feel fancy and slightly guilty. The meat? Perfect. The sides? Exactly what your mom would've made if she had a million-dollar kitchen. The wine list is a true voyage of its own; no, you can't pronounce half of them, but you'll drink them anyway.
Sorrentos Pizza: The Ultimate Slice of Heaven (Or at Least a Close Second)
Let’s talk about Sorrentos Pizza, where your dreams of devouring endless slices come true. Picture this: you're walking by, maybe a little hungry, maybe just a little bit too excited, and there it is—piping hot pizza, fresh out of the oven. It’s like the universe knew you were craving carbs and cheese and decided to throw you a lifeline.
The pizza here is surprisingly good, given the fact you’re on a ship. It’s not the kind of pizza you get at a sad airport kiosk. No, this is the real deal—crispy crust, gooey cheese, and toppings galore. You can grab a slice (or four, we don’t judge) while lounging by the pool, or even take a box to go if you want to be the “hero” of your cabin.
But seriously, at Sorrentos, you’ll find pizza that makes you believe you can conquer the high seas... one cheesy bite at a time.
Café@two70 was one of my go-to places to get my morning coffee. I don’t function well without a large cappuccino to start my day. Located on Deck 5, next to the huge Two70 Theatre, it is bright and open with black and white tiling, synonymous with style and opulence since ancient Roman days. The wall art is fun and chic, a giant backdrop mural of sketched pots and pans, decanters, jars and mixing bowls.
Café@two70 does offer a variety of menus throughout the day. I never had the urge to do more than grab a coffee on the fly, but it did offer egg and pressed sandwiches, as well as pastries and fresh fruit.
If you’re looking for an action-packed cruise, the Royal Caribbean Quantum of the Seas has a menu of activities that’ll make you feel like a child again—except with better snacks and fancier sunscreen. First, let’s talk about the NorthStar. This thing’s basically a glass bubble on a stick that takes you 300 feet above the ocean for jaw-dropping views. It’s like a Ferris wheel, but for people who are too cool for regular amusement parks. Perfect for that dramatic "I’m on top of the world" selfie.
Next up, for the adrenaline junkie in all of us, we’ve got the FlowRider, also known as the wave-riding simulator. Warning: You will wipe out. A lot. But hey, it’s all about looking confident while you’re being splashed around by a man-made tsunami, right?
For those who prefer their adrenaline with a side of bumper cars, get ready to smash into fellow passengers in the Dodgem Cars. Yes, there’s an actual bumper car rink on board. It’s like a carnival, but with fewer clowns and more vacation vibes.
Feeling ambitious? Try the rock climbing wall—because nothing says “I’m living my best life” like trying to scale a wall while 10-year-olds race past you like they're Spider-Man.
If you're a teenager (or an adult who refuses to grow up), check out the ping pong tables or video games in the arcade. Whether you’re perfecting your backhand or going head-to-head in some friendly competition, you’ll have plenty to do while avoiding eye contact with your parents.
For the little ones, don’t worry, they’re having a blast in the Kids Club. While you’re zipping around the ship doing your best action hero impression, your kids are making new friends and getting in some serious playtime. You can rest easy knowing they’re having fun without breaking anything. Yet.
Oh, and if you’re a fan of laser tag or want to test your skills in a mini-golf tournament, both are available to settle once and for all who’s the reigning champion of friendly competition.
Bottom line: This ship is a playground for adults, teens, and kids alike. So whether you're up for heart-pounding thrills, competitive games, or just some much-needed relaxation, there’s no shortage of ways to entertain your inner child.
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The Royal Caribbean Quantum of the Seas swimming pool area is like a tropical paradise that doesn’t make you fight for a towel—thankfully. It’s got everything: water, sun, and an endless stream of good vibes. Let’s start with the Sky Bar. Yes, you can sip a cocktail while pretending you’re the coolest person at sea, all from the comfort of your poolside lounge chair. If you’re feeling adventurous, try ordering a drink with a name you can’t pronounce and act like you’ve been on cruises your whole life.
Not far from your well-earned relaxation spot, you’ve got the ship’s spa. The perfect place to make you forget that you just swallowed a wave of saltwater while "gracefully" cannonballing into the pool. Go ahead, treat yourself to a massage after that, because you deserve it (and the spa probably smells like heaven).
Now, let’s talk ice cream. You can grab a cone that’s bigger than your expectations and cooler than your cousin's “beach bod” selfies. And if you’re feeling competitive—who isn’t?—there are poolside competitions to keep things lively. Whether it’s water volleyball or a splash contest, you’ll find yourself doing Olympic-level dives just to prove your fun superiority. Spoiler: You won’t win, but you’ll look cute trying.
In short, this pool area has everything: relaxation, excitement, and ice cream. What more do you need? A towel? Maybe. A good attitude?
Definitely.
Indoor Pool: The Calm, Cool Cousin to the Main Deck Party Pool
Ah, the indoor pool on the Quantum of the Seas. It's like the sibling you never knew you needed. While the Main Deck pool is a rowdy splash zone, filled with cannonballs and screaming kids, the indoor pool is like the cool, quiet cousin who reads a book by the pool and occasionally dips their toes in the water.
If you’re someone who prefers serenity over chaos (or if you just need a break from all the splash fights), the indoor pool is your oasis. The vibe is relaxed—no waves of kids trying to invent new swimming techniques or adults using pool noodles as weapons. It’s just you, the water, and maybe a cocktail from the nearby bar. Yes, there's a bar. It's like they knew.
This indoor pool is always the perfect temperature (because, you know, it’s indoors), so you never have to worry about the water being as cold as your ex’s heart or as hot as that one guy who thinks it’s a jacuzzi. Plus, if you're not into sunburns, this is the ideal place to take a dip without getting your daily dose of UV rays.
So, if you're not in the mood for poolside chaos, or just want to escape the "waterpark" energy of the Main Deck, the indoor pool is there, waiting to calm your soul... one lazy lap at a time.
Pubs, Taverns, and Bars: Where the Real Voyage Begins
Ah, the bars and pubs on the Quantum of the Seas—let’s just say this ship isn’t just a cruise; it’s a floating pub crawl. If you’re someone who considers a vacation incomplete without a cocktail in hand, then this ship is your personal paradise.
First up, we have the Two70 Bar. Here’s the deal: it’s like a chic lounge with a view, where you can sip a cocktail while pretending you’re on some sort of futuristic space station. The drinks are fancy, the vibe is swanky, and you’ll probably feel important just by sitting there.
For those who prefer a more classic vibe, the Pub is where you go to channel your inner pirate (without the rum-induced mutiny, of course). It’s your traditional British-style pub, serving pints and hearty pub grub. You can get into some spirited conversation with fellow travelers, or, you know, just pretend you understand the game of darts. Either way, this spot will quickly become your go-to for that pub feel, minus the smoky air and questionable karaoke.
But if you really want to feel like you’ve time-traveled back to the golden age of cruising, head to Schooner’s Bar. This nautical-themed bar is as classic as it gets, with cozy wood paneling and nautical knick-knacks to make you feel like you’re in a scene straight out of an old maritime adventure movie. The piano bar here will get you singing “Sweet Caroline” before you can say “Ahoy, matey!” It’s a great place for a nightcap, and honestly, it might just turn into a permanent stop on your cruise journey.
Now, if you’re ready to turn up the fun (and the volume), head to the Bionic Bar. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like—robots making your drinks. It’s like a science fiction movie, but with way more booze. The future is here, folks, and it comes with an app to order your cocktail from a robotic bartender. It’s fun, it’s flashy, and it’s honestly one of those things you have to experience just to say, “Yep, that happened.”
And if you’re craving a tropical drink that’ll make you feel like you’ve just won the lottery, check out the Solarium Bar. Situated in the adults-only area, it’s perfect for sipping cocktails in peace while pretending you don’t have kids. (Don’t worry, they’re probably at the Kids Club, having a blast without you.)
The best part? You can bar-hop between these spots, all while the ship continues its journey across the open seas. So go ahead, channel your inner Hemingway or James Bond—either way, you’ll find the perfect drink on the Quantum of the Seas.
It is very hard to put everything into one Quantum of the Seas Cruise Ship Review as there are so many components from boarding to disembarkation, cabin accommodation, food and drinks, things to do onboard and of course destinations you visit.
Call cruise experts BlueSun Travel on 1300 799 758 or click on BlueSun Cruises to see the most comprehensive information on Royal Caribbean cruise ships and packages.
